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Wenn Männer WIRKLICH wissen was sie wollen
Ich lese grad Scarlett Thomas, The Seed Collectors. Diesen Abschnitt wollte ich Euch nicht vorenthalten 
My perfect Girlfriend
1.Long straight black hair, no frizz, worn down, in low ponytail or bunches.
2.Blue eyes — dark, not that insipid watery blue. No weird flecks.
3.No glasses or contact lenses.
4.Good skin. Pale. Not too much foundation. Does not need concealer.
5.Must be under 8 stone. Ideally 7 stone 10.
6.Thighs must not meet at the top.
7.Fat distributed as follows: small amount on face, mainly lips, cheeks. Small tits — roughly a handful (must not be able to hold pencil under them). Tiny stomach is nice. Do not want to see abs. All of rest of fat on bum. Bum firm but wobbles a little when she walks. But not too much.
8.Pink nipples with no hair on them.
9.Natural or no make-up. Mascara is fine.
10.Interesting botanical name.
11.Intelligent but never boring.
12.Must like the Waterboys, World Party, Van Morrison, The The.
13.Square cut short fingernails with very dark or clear polish.
14.Lip-balm rather than lipstick. Very light pink lipstick is OK (red lipstick on cock is disgusting).
15.Must have watched Ferris Beuller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club and other John Hughes films.
16.If she plays lacrosse she will play First Home. If she plays netball she will play Goal Shooter. Will like scoring goals more than
running around.
17.Does ballet and/or yoga.
18.Can do the splits.
19.Toenails painted pale pink.
20.Some freckles on nose but nowhere else on body.
21.Wears perfume very subtly. NOT Poison or anything like that. Something unusual and a bit mossy like Givenchy III.
22.Writes long letters in real ink. Blue ink better.
23.Hates grunge music.
24.Hates Bros.
25.Hates The Word.
26.Has a London or neutral accent. NOT from North.
27.Wears floral dresses with bare legs and ballet shoes or plimsolls.
28.Has ripped 501s. But not deliberately ripped with scissors.
29.Likes wearing my sweatshirt.
30.Has been to India at least once.
31.Wants to do science at university. Preferably biology/botany.
32.Is clean and does not smell. No fishy odour.
33.Does not fart.
34.Never burps
35.Does not eat more than one course at a three course meal.
36.Does not smoke or do drugs. One glass of white wine or champagne OK sometimes.
37.Does not like football, rugby or cricket.
38.Makes friendship bracelets in subtle colours
39.Does not like dolls, soft toys etc.
40.A pony is OK.
41.Small ears.
42.Must be quite artistic but not in an art school way.
43.Sometimes eats only a small amount of chocolate or fruit for lunch (but not both at once).
44.Understands what it is like to lose mother.
My perfect Girlfriend
1.Long straight black hair, no frizz, worn down, in low ponytail or bunches.
2.Blue eyes — dark, not that insipid watery blue. No weird flecks.
3.No glasses or contact lenses.
4.Good skin. Pale. Not too much foundation. Does not need concealer.
5.Must be under 8 stone. Ideally 7 stone 10.
6.Thighs must not meet at the top.
7.Fat distributed as follows: small amount on face, mainly lips, cheeks. Small tits — roughly a handful (must not be able to hold pencil under them). Tiny stomach is nice. Do not want to see abs. All of rest of fat on bum. Bum firm but wobbles a little when she walks. But not too much.
8.Pink nipples with no hair on them.
9.Natural or no make-up. Mascara is fine.
10.Interesting botanical name.
11.Intelligent but never boring.
12.Must like the Waterboys, World Party, Van Morrison, The The.
13.Square cut short fingernails with very dark or clear polish.
14.Lip-balm rather than lipstick. Very light pink lipstick is OK (red lipstick on cock is disgusting).
15.Must have watched Ferris Beuller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club and other John Hughes films.
16.If she plays lacrosse she will play First Home. If she plays netball she will play Goal Shooter. Will like scoring goals more than
running around.
17.Does ballet and/or yoga.
18.Can do the splits.
19.Toenails painted pale pink.
20.Some freckles on nose but nowhere else on body.
21.Wears perfume very subtly. NOT Poison or anything like that. Something unusual and a bit mossy like Givenchy III.
22.Writes long letters in real ink. Blue ink better.
23.Hates grunge music.
24.Hates Bros.
25.Hates The Word.
26.Has a London or neutral accent. NOT from North.
27.Wears floral dresses with bare legs and ballet shoes or plimsolls.
28.Has ripped 501s. But not deliberately ripped with scissors.
29.Likes wearing my sweatshirt.
30.Has been to India at least once.
31.Wants to do science at university. Preferably biology/botany.
32.Is clean and does not smell. No fishy odour.
33.Does not fart.
34.Never burps
35.Does not eat more than one course at a three course meal.
36.Does not smoke or do drugs. One glass of white wine or champagne OK sometimes.
37.Does not like football, rugby or cricket.
38.Makes friendship bracelets in subtle colours
39.Does not like dolls, soft toys etc.
40.A pony is OK.
41.Small ears.
42.Must be quite artistic but not in an art school way.
43.Sometimes eats only a small amount of chocolate or fruit for lunch (but not both at once).
44.Understands what it is like to lose mother.
